Bankrupt Your Startup in Five Easy Steps

This was a fun opening session for SxSW Interactive, thanks to Joshua Strebel (President, obu web technologies inc), Andrew Hyde (Startup Weekend), Sean Tierney (COO, JumpBox Inc), and the amazing unicorn.

Session description:

The odds are your startup will fail. Why fight it. Learn to implode your company with style. This session will review some of the many challenges facing new startups and look at the reasons why the vast majority of big ideas never make it out of the garage. The panelists will address the five things that sink most startups and show you how to do it bigger and better than your competition, which is also going to implode.

Since, as a founder, you probably don’t have time to dig through the video transcripts (after all, you’re busy failing), here’s their list of neatly compressed key insights.

H.O.S.E.D.

  • Hand over the reins
  • Over-engineer everything
  • Seek growth before profitability
  • Establish culture of subservience
  • Disregard cashflow

S.H.A.F.T.

  • Show nothing to anyone
  • Have an exit plan
  • NDA
  • Funding = exit plan
  • Theme weeks for the office

F.U.C.K.D.

  • Forget your purpose
  • launch Under funded
  • miCro manage your team
  • be the King
  • believe the Dreamkillers

So there you have it. You should feel much better prepared now and ready to run your startup into the ground.

4 Responses to “Bankrupt Your Startup in Five Easy Steps”

  1. Cem Basman Says:

    Bingo :-)

  2. “The odds are your startup will fail” « Sprechblase Says:

    [...] “The odds are your startup will fail” 9. März 2008 Our friend Tim Bonnemann reports live from the ringside at the opening session for SxSW Interactive: Bankrupt Your Startup in Five Easy Steps: H.O.S.E.D. [...]

  3. Tim Says:

    Here’s a quick blurp on Wired: SXSW: Bankrupt Your Startup the Easy Way

  4. How to bankrupt your startup in style Says:

    [...] Link. [...]

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